What to tell my child about himself??

I added my first poll this morning. I am curious to know what other people think on the issue, but it probably won't change what I think and do about it. Here's what sparked it all off:

This morning, my special bundle of joy was up to his usual tricks - ones that all ASD parents are likely to be familiar with, namely:

• The high pitch squeel and random vocalisations
• Flapping hands held close to his shoulders
• Running round on tiptoe, at high speed with no regard for safety of self or others
  
• Complete non-compliance with any request to do anything because he just couldn't stay focused and had to resort to one or all of the above.

The result was 2 little brothers copying him and a mum tearing her hair out trying to get them all fed, washed, dressed and off to kindy.

In the end, I physically stopped my eldest, held him infront of my by the shoulders and told him outright "These behaviours are NOT normal; your friends don't do them! If you don't want to be teased, you need to learn to control yourself!". His reply?
"I know. My friends do tease me" to which I responded "Well, your real friends won't tease you, but some people will. That's just the way the world is and if you don't want to be teased, don't give them things to tease you about!".

Then I explained calmly "You are different. I don't fully understand 'how', and there is no 'why', but that's just the way it is. You were born different. This is not a bad thing - life would be dull if we were all the same. However, sometimes you're going to have to behave just the same as everyone else."

So, what do you think? Right approach to teach them they are different? Does this encourage them to understand themselves and others better? Or wrong approach? Does telling them just encourage them to be more separate from the world and to not even try to understand others?