Speaking "Autistic"

I read a book a while ago which was a refreshing change on the subject of Autism and validated my 'gut feeling' and 'instinct' approach to my son's behaviour. I've always taken the approach that if he displays an autistic behaviour that isn't dangerous and doesn't do anyone or anything any harm, I leave it alone. It will either disappear in time, or it won't. I figured there was a reason for the behaviour, even if I as a neurotypical didn't understand what that might be.

The book is called "Autism, The Eighth Colour of the Rainbow" and it takes a gentle look at autistic behaviour and flies in the face of most doctor and therapist advise by encouraging us to view each behaviour as an attempt to communicate or to get a need met and encourages us to try to understand what's behind it, rather than just jumping on the behaviour and going straight into behaviour modification techniques.

Here's my latest 'real life' experience.

For years, my son has patted people, particularly in the face. Often he approaches at some speed and he can be aggressive, so people's response to his approach was to be defensive and prepare to be hurt. Also, the pats were often just too hard. They hurt! So I have for at least a couple of years tried to prevent this behaviour and reduce it's frequency, without a whole lot of success. I would physically grab my son's hands and tell him "No! we don't pat or hit! Especially not the face! Stroke instead!". The behaviour continued unchanged....

Then one night, I sat beside my son at the dining table and after a few minutes it was as if he'd suddenly realised I was there and he dropped his spoon, span in his seat and patted me hard on the arm. Instead of my usual reactions which closed him down and shut him off, something inspired me to put my hand gently on his and say "Hello! I love you to!". Instead of the usual frustrated growl after being shut down, I was rewarded with a big grin and a giggle! Instead of the behaviour being repeated more forcefully, he went peacefully back to eating his dinner!

Over the next few days I observed the patting behaviour more closely. When I saw it, I would respond with phrases like "I love you too!" "I see you too!" "Hello to you too!" and each time I validated that he had made an attempt to communicate with such responses, he grinned and moved on.

Then I started saying "I love you too! but I'd rather you said it with a stroke or words" (my autistic is fully verbal, he just has to remember to use it). When he rushed up to friends of siblings to pat, I'd say "use your words to say it!".

After just a couple of days, I got such a shock when he came running towards me, hands drawn back to pat, stopped dead and declared "I love you!"!

Now his wonderful teachers at his school tell me that the autistic patting is often their way of saying "hello" and just as we have many ways of saying "hello" sometimes the pat means "Hello, I see you", sometimes "hello, I hate you", sometimes "hello, who are you?" etc. It is always an acknowledgement of your physical presence in their world.

How I wish someone had told me this years ago!! How I wish I had a dictionary for 'Autistic-English' translation, just like you can get French-English dictionaries!

The plot shop

Whilst out shopping with Oneson I was racing through the isles of a variety store in a mad rush as usual. All of a sudden I stopped dead, completely at a loss as to what I was looking for.

Oneson: "What's the matter?"
Mum: "Mummy's lost the plot"
Oneson: "That's ok mummy, we can go to the plot shop and buy a new one"

What a wonderful, simple and not completely inaccurate view of the world my son has! No matter what your problem, somewhere there's a shop selling what you need to fix it.

Now the trick is to FIND the plot shop!

First visit from the tooth fairy

Oneson finally lost his first wobbly tooth yesterday.

It's been hanging by a thread for a whole week now. He slid down a slide at kindy and had a bumpy landing and out it popped! He was so pleased!

Naturally, the tooth fairy visited last night. Now he wants to go to the shops to buy red nail polish for himself.

ASD groups on sexuality and relationships

REMINDER:

Autism Gold Coast believes that Sexuality and Relationships is an area of need in our ASD community on the Gold Coast and hopes that you will share this information with families, and where there is interest, register with Judy Graham from Family Panning Qld.

She has 2 groups on offer to our teenagers with ASD. Information is available via email. She is more than happy to hear from parents to discuss this further in relation to the needs of their child.

Please send in your registrations as soon as possible as the starting date is Thursday March 6 2008.

Judy Graham
Family Planning Queensland Education & Training - Disability Team
Professional Training Projects Officer
Ph: 07-5531 2636 Fax: 07-5591 7585
www.fpq.com.au

Evidence of health risks to carers

Carers are more than 40 per cent more likely to suffer from at least one chronic health condition when compared to the rest of the community, according to new research released today.

The report, titled The Health and Wellbeing of Adult Family Carers in South Australia, found that 70 per cent of carers reported conditions such as diabetes, asthma, arthritis and cardiovascular disease.

Carers Australia CEO Joan Hughes said she was concerned about the findings.

"We now have solid evidence going back more than a decade that clearly illustrates the urgent need to address carer health and wellbeing," she said. "Yet there is still no national plan in effect to address the problem."

Carers Australia made recommendations in its 2008-2009 budget submission in relation to carer health and wellbeing, including an annual health check for carers.

The Health and Wellbeing of Adult Family Carers in South Australia report is available from http://www.health.sa.gov.au/PROS

The Wellbeing of Australians: Carer Health and Wellbeing is available from http://carersaustralia.com.au

For more information contact Anthony Watkins on (02) 6122 9911 or Alison Kemmis on (02) 6122 9917 or email caa@carersaustralia.com.au

Social Skills Group, 16-18 year old's, Gold Coast

This was circulated via the Autism Gold Coast email news list:-

... psychologist John Brownhill of Impact Health at Southport...., in conjunction with the Psychology dept at Griffith University, is looking for young people (approx. 16 -17 -18 age group) male or female to participate in a social skills course to be held at the uni.

To date he has a couple of people interested and is looking for a minimum of 6 to enable the course to commence. There would be a small cost involved.

...Anyone that is interested can phone John at Impact Health on 07 5539 7880 and leave their details.

ASD in the news

A is for autism

Denise Ryan

February 11, 2008

After years of neglect, services are being boosted to help children diagnosed with the mystifying condition -but there's more to be done.

Read the full article

Barriers fall as Jack finds a voice

Denise Ryan

February 11, 2008

JACK BORLAND didn't speak until he was six. The 16-year-old can remember using sign language to communicate his needs until one day at primary school - and he is not sure why - he began to talk.

Read the full article

We have a loose tooth!

Yep, Oneson has his first loose tooth, much to everyone's suprise. It is the bottom left of the middle front incisors.

It came loose last Thursday whilst he was using his teeth to attempt to prize apart parts of a plastic construction toy (no, NOT Lego). It happened at afterschool care. I heard the scream from the next room where I was gathering his belongings and I raced in to his room to find him screaming, blood pouring from his mouth, and everyone looking shocked. His carer couldn't get near him and was rather ineffectually offering tissues. The other kids didn't know what had happened and Oneson was too distressed to communicate at all.

I asked the carer for an ice cube of icey pole for Oneson to suck on to stop the bleeding and set about consoling and comforting. Once calm, it turned out in typical Autistic style, he wasn't bothered by the obvious things like pain and blood. He was TERRIFIED of loosing a tooth!

After I'd explained this is all perfectly normal and a good thing on account of the appearance of the tooth fairy, Oneson then remembered an episode of Charlie and Lola he'd seen on ABC Kids that explained all about loosing baby teeth and the tooth fairy.

Now of course, he is running up to strangers in the street and declaring proudly "I've got a loose tooth!".

Volunteers needed for studies - ASD & NT's

Volunteers sought for food preference study

A School of Land and Food Sciences research team seeks caregivers who have a child (aged five to 12) with a diagnosis of Autism, Autistic Spectrum Disorder (ASD), or Asperger’s Syndrome, as well as caregivers of typically-developing children (aged five to 12). The team is interested in the food preferences of Australian children with and without Asperger’s Syndrome. A three part food preference questionnaire will be delivered to interested participants and a follow-up interview may be required. Details, email Dr Bruce D’Arcy or phone ext. 69190.

Volunteers sought for vitamin and mineral study

Healthy child volunteers aged four to 12 are sought to attend three, two-hour sessions, approximately six weeks apart, at the Royal Children’s Hospital, Herston. Testing will include a blood test, body composition measurements and a variety of questionnaires, with results available at the conclusion of the study. These types of tests are not typically available and may provide detailed information about the child’s vitamin and mineral levels. Details, email: n.schoendorfer@uq.edu.au.

twoson discovers threeson

Twoson has recently taken to being expressing his affection for family members verbally frequently. He has also discovered playing with his little brother.

Yesterday, I overheard Twoson in the garden with Threeson:-
"That little guy! He's my favorite little guy!"

And this morning, Twoson said:
"Threeson, you're my favorite little buddy! You're the best little buddy in the whole wide world!"

It is really lovely to see them discovering each other and getting some totally normal sibling interaction, with normal give and take, ebb and flow of games and ideas. Yes, also the normal squabbling over toys, but it happens without the 'edge' (intensity?) that such squabbles involving Oneson have.

Feeling good about my body - weight, shape, etc

My darling hubby has been complimenting me for weeks and claiming I am smaller now than he's ever known me. I found it hard to believe - he knew me when I did a brief stint as full time groom to about a dozen horses and I had a six-pack as a result!

So last night to prove him wrong, I pulled my all time favourite dress out that I bought around the time of my employment as a groom. It is a beautiful full length oriental style bottle green silk dress. I never imagined I would be able to wear it again - it was a snug fit at the time of purchase.

It FITS!!

Approximately 11 years and 3 kids later - IT FITS!!!

I know looks ain't everything, but I feel sooooo good about myself right now!! How many women do you know that can still get in to clothes they bought so long ago, having had kids since?

I am not fitter than I was then, but I am healthier overall. :-)

Days 2 & 3 of school

For Oneson, day 2 of school was awful. 2 biting incident and 1 pushing. The boy he pushed over went down like a felled tree! He was three times Oneson's size!

Oneson caught sight of me as he was returning from his advancement center to his home room. He began to scream and the accompanying teacher had to bodily pick him up to get him back in to his home room. When he re-appeared with his home room teacher, I noted the very firm grip she had on his wrist!

On the positive side, it left his teachers in no doubt that he needs support in the classroom. The teachers have all dealt with it magnificently and see it as a minor set back on the road to settling and integration. Both advancement and class teachers are so switched on. They are reading his behaviour exactly as I would and are modifying routines exactly the way I would suggest and I don't have to say a word! It's such a relief to me to see he is in such great hands.

Day 3 (today) was a great day for both Oneson and his teachers. All went well. I stayed a little this morning at the request of his home room teacher because his advancement teacher was held up and it was PE with another teacher who hadn't met him yet. I enjoyed the chance to meet some of Oneson's classmates and just got stuck in as a general 'helper' where I could see the need.

We have decided I shall collect him directly from the advancement center and this worked well tonight. Much better day. Less squeeling - they are redirecting this to 'shhh, shhh' instead. No aggression or violence today. His advancement teacher mentioned she's considering a weight vest because he becomes instantly calmer when you dump his enormous school bag on him. He is also seeking a lot of tight hugs and pressure. I replied "you must be psychic! I was going to speak to you about that for the same reasons!".

First day at school

Oneson had his first ever day at big school on Thursday. My hubby asked "So, how'd he go?" I told him as far as I knew, Oneson had done just fine and I felt sure the school would soon inform me if there were any problems they couldn't manage. My husband responded "Welcome to the next 16 years of parenthood - Largely clueless as to what your kids do by day".

I have to agree that this is so. THEN the next phase will be being clueless about where they are, who there with and what they're doing 24/7!

So now I have the opportunity to let go and let god, and to take it just one day at a time :-)